A Few Good Coders

This is a paraody based on a conversation, that one of my developers had with a development manager as he was trying to implement XP.

Architect: You want answers?

Development Manger: I think I’m entitled to them.

Architect: You want answers?

Development Manager: I want the build!

Architect: You can’t handle the build! Son, we live in a world and that world has firewalls. And those firewalls have to guarded by men with IP addresses and ports. Who’s gonna do it? You?! I have a greater responsibility then you can possibly fathom. You weep for the Development Lab and you curse the install shield MSI. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of knowing what I know: that the development lab, while tragic, probably saved users from defects. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves users from defects…You don’t want this agile process because deep down inside, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on the build process. You need me on that build process. We use words like refactor, NAnt, patterns, inversion of control…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom from defects I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a keyboard and grab a mouse. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Development Manager: Did you get the NAnt build to work?

Architect: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.

Development Manager: Did you get the NAnt build to work?

Architect: You’re goddamn right I did!!!!